Harper's Election Blunders

The Fed-Up Party of Canada

Stephen Harper is a Tool

I know that's not my wittiest title -- or description of Stephen Harper -- but in this case I think it's very apt.

Yesterday, Stephen Harper decided to schmaltz up his pathetic election campaign, by singing "Imagine" with the girl who went viral for singing "Born This Way" (and got Tweeted by Lady Gaga, etc.). As if it wasn't already lame -- and hypocritical -- that a lifeless, pro-corporate, war-mongering Christian fundamentalist, is claiming to be a fan of innovative, non-materialist, peace-promoting non-Christians like The Beatles... Harper also claims to be a fan of Lady Gaga.

Now, at best this already looks like a very cheap and blatant ploy to con young voters -- ironically, one of the only things that Harper IS transparent about. But Harper's statements make it clear that he's -- once again -- lying through his teeth. For example...

" I hear Mrs. Gaga’s words – ‘Just dance, gonna be okay/da-da, doo-doo/Dance, dance, dance, just dance’"

LADY GAGA'S NOT MARRIED. I'm not a fan of hers, but even I know that. Why? BECAUSE I FUCKING PAY ATTENTION TO CURRENT EVENTS!

*sigh*

"“Bad Romance”: “Makes me think of the spectre of a Liberal-NDP-Bloc coalition. Have I mentioned lately how bad that romance would be for Canada? Because it would be a bad romance for Canada. FYI.”

Oh for fuck's sake he's STILL on about that? Even after that blew up in his face? And the far-right says LIBERALS are stupid!

"Don’t really understand the meaning of this song, but the wonderful refrain — ‘Can’t read my/Can’t read my/No, he can’t read my poker face’ — speaks to me, deeply."

Ummm... I'm being Punk'd here, aren't I? Seriously??

Ok, Tiny Stephen, if you're reading this... the song is about being bisexual. I'm not kidding around -- Gaga herself has said that this is about trying to hide that she's attracted to women. So not only does this show that Harper has NO IDEA what he's talking about, but the irony is that he and his party are notorious homophobes, and Harper claims to love a song that is celebrating being anything BUT straight.

PRETENTIOUSNESS FAIL

March's Morons of the Month

Good God, so many to choose from... Let's start with someone who I didn't write about already, this month.

• The National Hockey League, its players, and its coaches, for refusing to take the epidemic of headshots and concussions seriously (take it from someone who's had two head injuries in my family, this is NOT something to be fucked around with). Case in point...


• Columbia soccer player Luis Moreno, for brutally kicking a wounded owl to death -- as it made eye contact with him! -- in the middle of a match... BECAUSE ITS INJURY INTERRUPTED THE GAME!


• Various members of the Republican Party for starting a full-blown witch-hunt on Muslim Americans, attempting to block young Americans from voting (because they tend to vote Democrat), and actually calling for troublemakers to start riots, disguised as striking workers.

And of course...

• Deposed Canadian Emperor Stephen Harper and The Conservative Party of Canada, for being the only government in Canadian history to be found in contempt of Parliament (which led to their defeat in a non-confidence motion, similar to being impeached), and viewing such a disgraceful milestone as "a distraction". Not only that, but during the federal election we are currently having, Harper has spent much of that time fear-mongering over a non-existent coalition of Liberals, NDPs, and Bloc Qubecois... despite the fact that such a coalition is not only valid under Canadian law, but that Harper himself tried to form a coalition with the NDP and Bloc, when he was the leader of the opposition.

Keep it up, Harpo -- put your head in the noose, please.

Harper's Stupidity

Fall of the Harper Conservatives

Fallout of Stephen Harper's Contempt Ruling

As we all know by now -- or at least, those of us who follow Canadian news -- Prime Minister Stephen Harper has been found in contempt of Parliament, by a committee (this won't be made formal until sometime tomorrow). Specifically, he's been cited for tolerating Bev Oda's forgery and lying, and for hiding the costs of the Conservative "tough on crime" agenda for ages.

But -- of course -- Harper's colleagues and supporters are defiant about it. Rather than do the ethical thing and own up to rather obvious blunders, they're attacking the opposition (see the comments in the linked articles), vilifying the committee (because it was made up mostly by opposition members), saying that Harper is STILL better than the alternatives, and -- wait for it -- attacking Liberal Leader Michael Ignatieff's family for "not being real immigrants" and supposedly bringing about the Iron Curtain.

*sighs* Let's get this over with...

1. Harper has been RATHER OBVIOUSLY lying to the public, been a total control freak, disrupted Parliament, and even broken the law. To look at all he's done and try to claim otherwise, is like trying to tell me -- with a straight face -- that The Queen isn't an old woman.
2. I know that neo-cons aren't big on things like FACTS AND LOGIC, but the Liberal party is CENTRE-RIGHT (as any look at their policies makes very clear). As for the belly-aching about coalitions (are you fucking kidding me?), not only are they legal and effective in parliamentary democracies (and EXPECTED in minority governments), but Harper himself formed a coalition with those same "socialists and traitors" that his drones put on the same level as terrorists.
3. So the committee was made up mostly by the opposition -- the opposition makes up the majority in Parliament (another thing that the far-right can't accept). OF COURSE they would take up a lot of committee space. That's how our democracy works.
4. Furthermore, this begs the question: do Conservatives really think that they should be allowed to investigate themselves? These guys claim to be tough on crime, but from the way they're acting right now, you'd think they'd be fine with Paul Bernardo being the judge in his own murder trial.
5. I don't pretend to have confidence in Michael Ignatieff or NDP Leader Jack Layton, but when Harper is THE ONLY PRIME MINISTER IN CANADIAN HISTORY TO BE CHARGED WITH CONTEMPT, it's pretty hard to imagine anyone being WORSE than him -- especially when you add his ridiculous financial incompetence to the equation (like the billion dollars wasted on G20 -- more than any world leader has spent on it -- the corporate tax cuts that NEVER stimulate the economy, the billions of dollars spent on the useless CF-35s, spending millions to scrap a census that even most conservatives say we need, etc.).
6. Do I REALLY need to say something about how stupid and disgusting -- and possibly defamatory -- it is to attack the family of your main opponent? Especially with something as idiotic as saying they're not "real immigrants"? What in the holy mother of fuck does that even MEAN?
7. And incidentally -- making racist and threatening remarks (eg. wanting to bomb all Liberals and NDPers), is EXACTLY WHY HARPER WILL NEVER WIN A MAJORITY. It's also why people think that you're, well, a bunch of fascist, bigoted, psychopaths.

THANKS FOR COMING OUT.