For those who don't know, I've been going out with this incredible girl, named Haley, for the last month or so. Ordinarily I would never use our conversations for "Bored on the Corner" material, but I feel very strongly about this, and you'll see why in a moment. I was talking with her, yesterday, when she mentioned something that she ran into on Reddit. Recently, someone on there saw a photo of her, and said that she looked like she was 35. Since she's 19, she wasn't exactly thrilled with that.
Now, I'll admit that when I first met her, I didn't figure she was a teenager, either... but I could still tell that she was A LOT younger than 35! Haley gets that a lot, and as far as I know has never minded it. It's what she said next, that really got to me, because you could tell that it DID bother her.
She said that while she has a great self-image when she sees herself in the mirror, or sees a posed photo, she really doesn't like candid pictures of herself, because she notices her "flaws" a lot more in them; things like small lips, bad teeth, very dark eyes, tiny hands, and a facial structure that she says makes her look really ill.
I know that this sounds like a Whipped Boyfriend Response (tm), but I've honestly NEVER seen those things, nor have I ever cared about them. When I first saw Haley, long before it crossed my mind to go out with her, what I saw was a stylish, hip-looking girl, in good shape, with an infectious smile, with a lot of confidence, who could rock a bowler hat/hipster look a lot better than most. And that's just talking about the superficial stuff. I've since gotten to know the young woman inside, and found that she was very funny, even more kind, with limitless compassion, healthy nerd-creds, and creative as hell... who, for some reason, loves me to bits. :P
I could make some remarks, speculating as to what these trolls who slagged my girlfriend might look like, but I won't (as funny as it could be). What's sad is that even now, even with MUCH more important shit on our collective shelves, than looks... that's what a lot of people will attack others over, even if the attacks themselves are utterly stupid. I've certainly gotten some bizarre comments over the years, just for having had a beard and long hair (and some more, when I'd shaved my head in 2010). What's even sadder is that probably EVERY woman in the world, is under such pressure to be beautiful at all times, that they probably never really let their guard down on that. I'd be willing to bet that even Scarlett Johansson -- widely considered one of the hottest-looking women in the world, right now -- has her moments when she's very self-conscious about some "imperfection" that she likely never would have noticed, if not for some clod who couldn't give two shits about her as a person.
What an ass-backwards world, we live in. But at least the ones who are beautiful on the INSIDE, don't have to face it alone.
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