Thin Skins

This has got to be a record: literally within seconds of posting one of my previous ramblings, I found an article that prompted a new rant. It seems that Miley Cyrus has been so bothered by people calling her fat on the Internet, that she's gone out of her way to post a response asking them not to do that, because it hurts peoples' feelings.

Oh suck it up, you wimp.

Now look, I know that cyberbullying can be vicious -- we all know about the Megan Meier case, where Lori Drew made up a fake identity to rip apart an ex-friend of her daughter's, and taunted her into committing suicide. However, this isn't really in the same ballpark as a gutless loser calling you fat.

Here's a reality check: people -- girls and women especially -- get called fat all the time. It's one of the most common and lame ways there is, to put someone down. Frankly, I learned at a young age that if THAT'S the best someone can do, then they're not worth paying attention to. Hell, these days I get called much worse stuff than that all the time -- there's this one lunatic on MySpace who regularly calls me a demon-spawn and terrorist because I'm not a Christian extremist -- but I don't give a shit. Hang around YouTube or Facebook for a while and you'll find all sorts of vicious things -- last week someone I went to school with threatened (no, I'm sorry, PROMISED) to rip my ass off, because I had the audacity to even post rants at all, never mind criticizing the Oxford Police's handling of the Tori Stafford case. Do you know what I do? I usually just ignore it, but if things really get bad, then I block and report the asshole doing it. After that I often forget about it, and if it gets to me at all, it just gives me a reason to keep going.

So honestly, the fact that Miley Cyrus is getting in such a snit over just being called fat, shows that she's got a pretty bad grasp of the real world. When you're in the public eye at all, you're going to get people calling you names -- so if you want peace and quiet, get out of show business. Also, have you actually READ some of the crap people post on the internet? When it comes to flaming someone, half the time it's so garbled it might as well have been written by a drunken retard -- and Miley's getting her knickers in a knot over THAT? Please -- get over it, honey, there are much bigger problems out there. That's it for me.

Miley and The Octomom

Since yesterday was Mother's Day, I'm taking this occasion to once again slag poor upbringing. These days, especially in the public eye, it's hard to find a better example than Nadya Suleman, aka "The Octomom" (TM). Yeah, I know I'm a bit late to the party on that one, but let's face it, this dingbat will probably be right up my alley, until the day she fricking dies. Just like celebrity culture and so-called "family values" will be, until the day I die.

I mean, it's really hard to take seriously, someone who entered the public eye looking like a complete idiot, and went downhill from there. Since keeping up is a bit of a challenge, let's recap: in 2001, she had six kids through in-vitro fertilization. This is hectic enough for most people, but she had the added problem of being both single and unemployed at the time. Not to mention, one of her children is autistic, and with all due respect to autistic people, raising a handicapped child is a full-time job by itself. You'd think that she'd stop here, and focus her energy on the family she's got, but no; she decides to get another implantation, deliberately carrying and delivering eight more babies, thus the nickname "Octomom" (TM). By the way, not only has she not held a single job in over ten years, but she was on public assistance when she had the octuplets. Even better, but she's been relying on friends and elderly family members to help make this little circus of hers work.

But of course, since indignant righteousness is one of humanity's defining qualities, she cannot understand why her life has turned into a tabloid feeding frenzy, public relations nightmare, and a drawn-out punchline, ever since she first made the news. Well look, numbnuts, I'll explain it to you: you're barely in a position to have any kids at all, yet you took it upon yourself to spawn a small city, while so many people right now are either starving, or sleeping in a gutter somewhere. On top of that, instead of actually acting like a mother to the kids you already had, including one with severe problems, you decided to breed even more, making it impossible to nurture any of them properly, especially when you're on welfare. That's not being a responsible parent, that's being Grade-A stupid. Add to that, the fact that not only have you actually trademarked the term "Octomom" (TM), but you're actually agreeing to a reality-show deal, like those self-absorbed pricks on Jon and Kate Plus 8, and people are right to wonder if you're just after this for fame and fortune. I can guarantee lady, in fifteen or twenty years, most -- if not all -- of your kids are going to be seriously screwed up by all of this exposure, so if I were you I'd either close down the show completely, or make sure you save up every last cent for a good psychiatrist. You're going to need it.

Speaking of funky family values, last week Miley Cyrus added her name to the list of celebrities claiming that they will abstain until marriage -- I use those words, because Britney Spears, Katie Holmes, and several others said the same thing and didn't follow through on it. Anyway, Cyrus says that her statement, is due to her strict Christian upbringing... is this the same upbringing that she had, when she posed in those half-nude photos, some of them in very creepy poses with her dad? Anyway, if Cyrus wants to set a wholesome example, fine -- she can put her money where her mouth is, by volunteering in shelters for homeless women and teen mothers. Especially teen mothers who were kicked out of their homes, thanks to some barbaric notion of shame to the family -- you know, a strict Christian upbringing. Miley, if you're going to get on a soapbox and talk about Jesus, first do what He did, and actually help those who are already in trouble. Then you're in a much better position to preach about morals and decency.

So as I close this tribute to those who continue to make humanity the biggest practical joke in the cosmos, let me say thank you to those who do know what parenting is about: those who encourage their children to explore, and to question, and to develop their own personalities... as opposed to just being puppets for narcissists that are starved for attention. Thank you, for not being like these dimwits. Enough said.