October's Morons of the Month

This is not to be confused with the Douchebag of the Year finalists.

• The Harper Conservative Government for continuing to waste money and time on gaudy business cards, fighter planes that in addition to being junk, can't even communicate in their destined deployment area of the Arctic, and ramming a tough-on-crime agenda despite mounting evidence that CRIME IS AT AN ALL-TIME LOW (as well as once again interfering in a private-sector labour strike, despite thumping their chests about liberals doing the same thing [or less]). Furthermore, they claim to be tough on crime, yet refused to arrest ADMITTED WAR CRIMINAL George W. Bush.




• Herman Cain/The Tea Party/Fox News for blaming the unemployed for somehow not finding work, when corporate swine like Cain, News Corp. and the Koch brothers ARE NOT HIRING.




• Ontario Teacher/former watchdog Jacques Tremblay for co-writing and distributing a softcore porn novel, starring and aimed at high school students.




• Ontario Conservative Leader Tim Hudak for disintegrating his election chances with a racist, homophobic, and utterly clueless campaign.




• Ayatollah Charles McVety (as well as the American/Florida Family Association) for taking out print and video ads that basically ENCOURAGE BULLYING OF QUEER YOUTH, when suicides in that demographic are on the rise.




• Don Cherry for bashing ex-NHL enforcers, for saying that hockey violence should be curbed, after multiple enforcers died during the summer, from various drug and mental health problems.




• The Family Research Council -- a Christian organization -- for praying against the Occupy movement. Apparently they skipped that section in The Book of Mark, when Jesus said His followers need to give up their possessions and help the poor.




• Kentucky Commissioner Steve Frank (and many other conservative Americans) for musing about "going Taliban" on the Occupy protesters.




• The creators of the The Thing [2011] for completely lying to the public, about whether or not their movie is a remake rather than a prequel.




• Harold Camping and his followers for once again getting it wrong, about the end of the world coming (for those of you who missed it, it was supposed to be last Friday).




• The Oakland Police Department (and others in America) for brutalizing and illegally arresting PEACEFUL PROTESTERS in the Occupy movement... even going so far as to CRITICALLY WOUND an Iraq veteran, by shooting a tear gas grenade at him, at point-blank range.






• Toronto Mayor Rob Ford for getting into a hissy fit over a well-known Canadian comedienne appearing on his driveway to do an ambush skit. Specifically, he waddled inside his house, made a series of profane 911 calls, and then lied to the public about what exactly happened (and even after the routine was aired, exposing his lies, has yet to own up to them). This has become such an embarrassment that he was just declared Keith Olbermann's Worst Person of the World, on the American Current TV channel.

Sour Grapes

For better or worse, one of Canada's most vulgar visible icons, is hockey lover Don Cherry. As most of us know, he is the long-time co-host of CBC's "Hockey Night in Canada", and known as much for his humongous mouth as for wearing outfits that can be used as test patterns. He's gotten into hot water over the years for racist and homophobic remarks, as well as emceeing Toronto Mayor Rob Ford's inauguration with a vow to stomp out "left-wing pinkos" (ie. anyone with a brain and basic manners). A full list of his controversies can be found here.

Anyway, he's gotten into some shit again, for going after some recently retired NHL players who -- like many others -- have said that fighting in hockey should be abolished. Specifically, when former enforcers Chris Nilan, Jim Thomson and Stu Grimson spoke out against the increasingly violent turn in Canada's national sport... he called them "pukes", "hypocrites" and "turncoats".

Now leaving aside that I never understood why a game whose object is to shoot a piece of rubber into a net, needs regular brawls, this was the most stupid and callous thing that Cherry could have ever said. In the last couple of years we've seen more and more incidents of truly good players (including national hero Sidney Crosby) being sidelined -- potentially for good -- by repeated and vicious blows to the head, often coming totally out of nowhere, and with enough force that without helmets they would probably have been killed instantly. The carnage has gotten so out of hand that this past summer saw no less than three NHL enforcers die in their twenties, two by their own hands.

Simply put, not only is the game getting a lot rougher than it ever should have been, but it is literally ruining -- and ending -- lives that have barely even started. And for pointing out the obvious -- that this cannot and should not go on -- one of Canada's leading voices in hockey is dragging through the mud, people who've actually been in the trenches. That's akin to calling a World War II veteran a traitor, if he says that war is often an exercise in getting a lot of people killed for stupid reasons.

And before anyone counters this by pointing out that Cherry used to play and coach hockey himself, SPARE ME. The last time he ever put on a pair of skates was in 1972, and the last time he coached was sometime in the eighties. If hockey's gotten a lot meaner in the last two or three years, then it's DEFINITELY gotten meaner in the last thirty as well. Simply put, the guy's hands-on experience with the game, is severely out of date.

Finally... if he's going to slam people who actually get paid to smash people's brains in, for having a change of heart, what exactly does Cherry propose to do instead? If he loves turning hockey into gladitorial combat, then let's see him get on the ice himself, putting his life on the line for a glorified game of ping pong. Considering that he's 77 years old, and clearly not in peak shape anymore, it would be interesting to see how well he can take these sort of hits. He could even put it on his next "Rock 'Em, Sock 'Em" video... if he has the intestinal fortitude.