The Complaint Department (Encore)

Well Season Four of Bored on the Corner is coming to a close, so in the usual tradition I'm taking some parting shots at the issues I touched on in the last couple of months, and in some cases the responses to them.

Former American Vice-President Dick Cheney is still fuming over Barack Obama's wish to close down the prison at Guantanamo Bay -- would someone please explain to this man that giving terrorist suspects a fair trial isn't going to cause the sky to fall, or seas to boil? Honestly, Cheney's rhetoric is such an insult to common sense that it's a wonder that heads haven't exploded over it yet.

After Scottish MP George Galloway was banned from entering Canada, due to his Pro-Palestinian views and actions, he has sued the Canadian government for falsely accusing him of terrorism. I'm all for this, something needs to be done about the appalling double-standard in this country that says it's perfectly fine for Israel to shoot families and blow up hospitals, but donating medicine and diapers to Palestine is somehow siding with mass murderers. Incidentally, I've made an Access to Information Request to the RCMP, asking why they don't seem to be keen on shutting down the Jewish Defence League -- a very well known terrorist group, operating in Canada -- so far, there has been no response.

Evidently my rant about Twitter didn't fare very well -- possibly due to the scene where I jokingly go into a psychotic fit over how much the social networking sites on the internet just rip each other off, or spawn a ton of useless features. Alright, I won't try to be funny anymore, or go after pop culture. Ah who am I kidding, I've got an opinion and I'm sharing it dammit.

When I went after the continuing melodrama from the Christian Right, over gay marriage, I had this response from "IanLowen". He said, "Even if you are not Christian, you still cannot change a definition to fit your convenience." Once again, conservatives do not pay attention to a thing I say. First of all, show me where in the American Constitution, it says that only religious conservatives have rights? Second, open a history book: the definition of marriage has already changed a lot over time; back in the stone age it was defined as a caveman smashing a woman over the head, dragging her to his home, and raping her. More recently, it was just an elaborate business transaction. So stop using this bullshit about gays trying to destroy traditional marriage, unless your idea of picking up women involves carrying a club.

Speaking of gay marriage, I withdraw my sympathy for Carrie Prejean, aka Miss California. I'd previously stood up for her, after she got dragged through the mud by Perez Hilton over her views on same-sex marriage. I originally respected that she supposedly supported the choice, if not the philosophy itself... too bad she later turned around and said on national television that it shouldn't be around at all.

In more recent news, with the recession in such dire shape that Canadians from coast to coast are screaming at Ottawa to fix our pathetic Employment Insurance system -- or do ANYTHING besides waste millions of dollars on pet projects -- all we get from Emperor Stephen Harper are weak excuses, and ads on TV that go after Liberal Leader Michael Ignatieff for having lived outside of Canada for over thirty years. So let me get this straight: a private citizen spending much of his adult life abroad is somehow a travesty, yet wasting time and public money on things that the people of this country hate and don't need, is good leadership? Get the fuck out of town.

Finally, I got some pretty hostile comments -- all from one person -- when I attacked the Oxford Police's handling of Tori Stafford's abduction and murder. In a nutshell, I was screamed at publicly for having such a strong opinion, and allegedly not doing anything direct to help search for the girl when she was believed to be alive. First of all, I don't recall it ever being said that I have to proclaim myself to be directly involved in a hot-button issue, in order to have a point of view. Canada -- at the moment -- still has Freedom of Speech. Second of all, there wasn't a lot I could have done; Woodstock is a part of the country I have hardly ever been to, I don't have a way to really get there, and even if I did, the Oxford Police were so stupid that they called off all searches mere days after Tori was taken. When the OPP came in to clean up that mess, they already had all the ground covered, so pretty much all I could have done was what I did anyway: keep Tori's name and face in the public eye.

I was also criticized somewhat for saying that the Oxford Police should be punished for their lax attitude towards the whole case -- I concede that my language at the time was more vicious than it needed to be, but the point still stands. The Oxford Police had every reason and oppourtunity to treat Tori's vanishing as a kidnapping, but they didn't. For some reason, a video that they insist shows a stranger walking Tori away from school doesn't constitute an abduction to them, though I suspect a lawyer or judge would disagree. At the very least, this was both stupid and extremely negligent. Therefore, I still maintain that unless Tori died before or just after she was reported missing, then the Oxford Police are partially responsible for her death, by their inexcusable lack of action. They are not only expected to, but paid to protect the public from these sort of crimes, and they dropped the ball for seemingly no good reason. If the officers in question are not willing or able to use some judgement and do their jobs, then they should find another line of work.

The good news about all of this is that I'm not the only one having these thoughts; since I pay attention to the world around me, and the way people think, I know for a fact that thousands -- even millions of people -- are equally pissed off at this bullshit. So to all the stupid and power tripping people out there, consider this a warning: you are being watched, and you are already wearing out your welcome. Push us further at your own risk. Enough said.

Thin Skins

This has got to be a record: literally within seconds of posting one of my previous ramblings, I found an article that prompted a new rant. It seems that Miley Cyrus has been so bothered by people calling her fat on the Internet, that she's gone out of her way to post a response asking them not to do that, because it hurts peoples' feelings.

Oh suck it up, you wimp.

Now look, I know that cyberbullying can be vicious -- we all know about the Megan Meier case, where Lori Drew made up a fake identity to rip apart an ex-friend of her daughter's, and taunted her into committing suicide. However, this isn't really in the same ballpark as a gutless loser calling you fat.

Here's a reality check: people -- girls and women especially -- get called fat all the time. It's one of the most common and lame ways there is, to put someone down. Frankly, I learned at a young age that if THAT'S the best someone can do, then they're not worth paying attention to. Hell, these days I get called much worse stuff than that all the time -- there's this one lunatic on MySpace who regularly calls me a demon-spawn and terrorist because I'm not a Christian extremist -- but I don't give a shit. Hang around YouTube or Facebook for a while and you'll find all sorts of vicious things -- last week someone I went to school with threatened (no, I'm sorry, PROMISED) to rip my ass off, because I had the audacity to even post rants at all, never mind criticizing the Oxford Police's handling of the Tori Stafford case. Do you know what I do? I usually just ignore it, but if things really get bad, then I block and report the asshole doing it. After that I often forget about it, and if it gets to me at all, it just gives me a reason to keep going.

So honestly, the fact that Miley Cyrus is getting in such a snit over just being called fat, shows that she's got a pretty bad grasp of the real world. When you're in the public eye at all, you're going to get people calling you names -- so if you want peace and quiet, get out of show business. Also, have you actually READ some of the crap people post on the internet? When it comes to flaming someone, half the time it's so garbled it might as well have been written by a drunken retard -- and Miley's getting her knickers in a knot over THAT? Please -- get over it, honey, there are much bigger problems out there. That's it for me.

Too Late for Tori

You may recall that a few weeks ago, Bored on the Corner was one of many outlets trying to raise awareness of the kidnapping of eight year old Victoria Stafford, of Woodstock, Ontario. It greatly unnerves me to report that this awareness was in vain -- on Wednesday, May 20, two people were charged in Tori's murder.

I am not simply outraged at the fact this girl's life was taken so senselessly -- though there is plenty of outrage to go around. I am appalled by the fact that for two weeks after Tori was taken, the local police did practically nothing. I can't possibly be the only one thinking that if the Oxford Community Police had gotten their acts together right away -- and treated it as an abduction right away -- maybe Tori would still be alive right now. If that's true, "officers", then I have no problem telling you that you do not deserve to wear those uniforms -- you have neglected, if not betrayed, everything those uniforms stand for. May Tori's blood be forever on your hands. That's it for me.

Godless Girl Guides?

You know something, as secular as I am, I can't help but thank God for the Canadian Family Action Coalition. That's because, as dangerous and insane as I truly believe they are, they at least give me something to do, through these rants and ravings of mine. The latest thing happened last week, when the Girl Guides of Canada proposed changing its oath, to remove references to God or faith. This means that now the guides promise to be true to themselves, and Canada, and to help others. Admittedly, the change may be redundant, since the guides are allowed to substitute "God" with whatever faith they wish... but sure enough Charles McVety and his goons are still mad as hell.

McVety's shtick for years has been to cry that Christianity is somehow being erased from Canada, just because non-believers are becoming more vocal about not wanting to be ignored by public institutions -- you know, that little thing called "Freedom of Belief", which McVety falsely claims that Atheists, Pagans, etc. don't have. I swear, leave it to this idiotic hack to not only make a mountain out of a molehill, but to make it sound like Christians are being put in prison camps, just because people actually expect this country to follow its own laws.

Leaving aside that being religious does not guarantee living a moral life -- as the entire Christian Right makes abundantly clear -- the proposed new pledge, still mandates helping other people and doing honourable deeds. Their Guiding Law still demands the Girl Guides to be honest and trustworthy, not waste resources, respect themselves and others, protect their communities, and live with courage and strength. For anyone who actually cares about what Jesus taught in The Gospel, this should be more than enough. Yet, because a reference to one specific belief system is being taken out, to follow that very law, Mr. McVety is crying that the world is going to end.

This is nuts -- as if McVety's lying and buffoonery in trying to block pro-gay films from being made in this country wasn't embarassing enough, he keeps playing the damnation card on a piece of complete trivia. Given that his group claims to be concerned with Family Values, maybe they ought to focus on something that really matters in that area, like the fact that more and more families these days live below the poverty line, or can't get a doctor -- oh no, I forgot, they say on their own web site that public assistance and health care are evil socialist views. But I digress -- Charles, stop making an ass of yourself, and save your hot air for things that actually matter, instead of continuing to defile everything that your Lord and saviour stood for. Enough said.

Miley and The Octomom

Since yesterday was Mother's Day, I'm taking this occasion to once again slag poor upbringing. These days, especially in the public eye, it's hard to find a better example than Nadya Suleman, aka "The Octomom" (TM). Yeah, I know I'm a bit late to the party on that one, but let's face it, this dingbat will probably be right up my alley, until the day she fricking dies. Just like celebrity culture and so-called "family values" will be, until the day I die.

I mean, it's really hard to take seriously, someone who entered the public eye looking like a complete idiot, and went downhill from there. Since keeping up is a bit of a challenge, let's recap: in 2001, she had six kids through in-vitro fertilization. This is hectic enough for most people, but she had the added problem of being both single and unemployed at the time. Not to mention, one of her children is autistic, and with all due respect to autistic people, raising a handicapped child is a full-time job by itself. You'd think that she'd stop here, and focus her energy on the family she's got, but no; she decides to get another implantation, deliberately carrying and delivering eight more babies, thus the nickname "Octomom" (TM). By the way, not only has she not held a single job in over ten years, but she was on public assistance when she had the octuplets. Even better, but she's been relying on friends and elderly family members to help make this little circus of hers work.

But of course, since indignant righteousness is one of humanity's defining qualities, she cannot understand why her life has turned into a tabloid feeding frenzy, public relations nightmare, and a drawn-out punchline, ever since she first made the news. Well look, numbnuts, I'll explain it to you: you're barely in a position to have any kids at all, yet you took it upon yourself to spawn a small city, while so many people right now are either starving, or sleeping in a gutter somewhere. On top of that, instead of actually acting like a mother to the kids you already had, including one with severe problems, you decided to breed even more, making it impossible to nurture any of them properly, especially when you're on welfare. That's not being a responsible parent, that's being Grade-A stupid. Add to that, the fact that not only have you actually trademarked the term "Octomom" (TM), but you're actually agreeing to a reality-show deal, like those self-absorbed pricks on Jon and Kate Plus 8, and people are right to wonder if you're just after this for fame and fortune. I can guarantee lady, in fifteen or twenty years, most -- if not all -- of your kids are going to be seriously screwed up by all of this exposure, so if I were you I'd either close down the show completely, or make sure you save up every last cent for a good psychiatrist. You're going to need it.

Speaking of funky family values, last week Miley Cyrus added her name to the list of celebrities claiming that they will abstain until marriage -- I use those words, because Britney Spears, Katie Holmes, and several others said the same thing and didn't follow through on it. Anyway, Cyrus says that her statement, is due to her strict Christian upbringing... is this the same upbringing that she had, when she posed in those half-nude photos, some of them in very creepy poses with her dad? Anyway, if Cyrus wants to set a wholesome example, fine -- she can put her money where her mouth is, by volunteering in shelters for homeless women and teen mothers. Especially teen mothers who were kicked out of their homes, thanks to some barbaric notion of shame to the family -- you know, a strict Christian upbringing. Miley, if you're going to get on a soapbox and talk about Jesus, first do what He did, and actually help those who are already in trouble. Then you're in a much better position to preach about morals and decency.

So as I close this tribute to those who continue to make humanity the biggest practical joke in the cosmos, let me say thank you to those who do know what parenting is about: those who encourage their children to explore, and to question, and to develop their own personalities... as opposed to just being puppets for narcissists that are starved for attention. Thank you, for not being like these dimwits. Enough said.

Brains on the Sidewalk

When I ranted last year, about bike riders who don't seem to know what they're doing, I forgot to mention a very big problem: not many seem to wear a helmet. We all know you're supposed to do it -- in some places, it's even the law -- but then again we all know that you shouldn't drive drunk or without a seatbelt, and look at how well that works. This is probably going to be yet another thing, where the only people who'll listen to me, are the ones who already know not to be this stupid, but I've got to say it anyway.

The other day, while on the job, I saw a thirteen or fourteen year old girl riding her bike, and not only was she not wearing a helmet, but she did something else that just about gave me chills. She was letting her little brother ride on the handlebars -- and he's maybe seven years old. For some reason, this idea is almost considered romantic in some ways, but this is just completely insane. The whole reason people get paranoid about bicycle safety is that if you fall off the thing or hit something, you're just going to shoot head-first into the closest hard surface.

Let me put it this way: earlier this year, actress Natasha Richardson slipped on a ski slope, hit her head on regular ground, and died in two or three days. If falling into a normal hill can kill a fully grown adult, what do you think would happen to a seven year old, taking a skull-plant into cement?

If I ever become crazy enough to have kids, this is definitely something I won't sit still for. Any son or daughter of mine who rides a bike, WILL wear a helmet, even if I have to duct tape it on. Any son or daughter of mine who rides someone else's handlebars, will be automatically grounded, and any son or daughter of mine allowing others to do this on their bikes, will have their bikes taken away. It sounds harsh, and no doubt you won't be on a kid's good side for doing it, but it's better that, than you go to their funeral, and constantly ask yourself why you didn't stop them from dying. Enough said.

Air Force Dumb/PR Fail

Ok, in case anyone thinks that I never go after the left wing in these blogs... apparently you haven't been reading for very long, but no matter. As we know by now, Barack Obama's publicity people had the bright idea last week, of staging a photo op to update their pics of Air Force One. Specifically their idea was to have the Presidential jet fly by the Statue of Liberty, close enough that you could spit on the torch... And do it for real. Hmph, and comedians were saying that Obama wouldn't give them anything to make fun of...

Honestly, how stupid could you possibly be, to think that this was even remotely a good idea? This is New York City -- Ground Zero -- and by now it just MIGHT be at the point, where seeing jetliners at all doesn't give the locals flashbacks. But what does someone want to do? Buzz the fucking shoreline with a 747, being chased by a fucking Harrier, no less! What do these idiots do for an encore, shoot off surprise fireworks at Columbine?!

Furthermore, coming from a video and filmmaking background, I have to ask: have these guys never heard of a thing called PHOTOSHOP? You know, that computer program that lets you stick people's faces onto animals for a joke? Trust me, if effects professionals can take Christopher Lee's head, put it on a 30 year old stuntman, and make him look like he's fighting Sonic the Hedgehog, it's not that hard to add an airplane to a shot of Liberty Island. I was able to do that in college, just to kill time between classes. These PR guys were presumably hired for their skills and creativity, so why did they show neither in a case as blatantly obvious as this? That's it for me.